Jonesberries

Last night we got together with the cousins on Andrew’s side of the family. We enjoyed a collection of food of magnificent proportions that grew as each carload arrived through the front door to make their contribution. The stars of the night were Uncle Neil’s lamb chops, Sister Sarah’s scalloped potatoes, Cousin Megan’s roasted pumpkin and pinenut salad, Auntie Jan’s brown rice medley and Nana’s  homemade lemon merangue pie.

We gathered around the table with sisters and cousins and aunties and uncles and nanas. We talked about what we have done since we were last together and some of the heartbreak. We talked about cats, dogs and chickens, a common theme among Andrew’s relations. We talked of nothing mind-blowing or world-changing. We joined with people we were stuck with. People connected by blood and marriage. We did not choose to be related but we chose to be at the table together.

Outside, in the back garden, was the next generation of cousins. Why outside? Because they chose it. After 5 minutes of “Bohemian Rhapsody” being sung at full volume by cousins of mixed musical ability, we understood why it was good they were outside and wondered what the neighbours must be thinking.

Cousins are important.

Most of the cousins, from last night, will be joining us for our family outing to the Perth Zoo. Once it was all decided and the meeting place and time were set they must have remembered that they forgot to invite the parents.

I am sure they will have a great time.

You know, cousins are a big part of why we took this flying part of our trip. Our kids had cousins they have not met. That should not be.

Cousins are important.

The biggest heartache of last night was talk of one of the cousins who married a woman who has severed ties with the family. A nana that will never see her grandchildren. Cousins that will never meet

Cousins are important.

I was closest to my cousin, Terre. Her parents had split up and she was making life difficult for Aunt Fran. Terre came to live with us in high school where my mom snapped her into shape. Anyone who knows my mom can effortlessly imagine this, I am sure. I am so glad that Terre came to live with us for those years. It has been so nice to see her grow from troubled teen, to beautiful young woman, faithful wife and doting mother.

My cousin, Terre, died of cancer last night. I was woken up by a tap on the shoulder from an unknown source at the moment of her death.

She is survived by her husband Mitch, together for 29 years, her  boyscout son, John, and she just missed her daughter, Ruby, becoming a teenager.

Cousins are important.

Mistakes – we have made a few. Here are some of our most memorable ones over the last couple of years:

1. While learning to use our GPS we followed its directions into the middle of an ancient Portuguese town on Easter Sunday, at the same time that all the old people were coming out of mass, until the streets got so small we had to back all the way out of the town.

2. We had to build our back bench 3 times because we used too thin of wood.

3. We paid 68 euros for one nights camping in Spain when there was a place for 25 euros one block away just because we drove into the first campground before we knew the price.

4. We installed cheap particle board shelves that literally fell off  the walls.

5. While we were driving, games, small books, suntan lotion, etc. flew off of our shelves, onto our heads, because we thought bungie cords would hold it all on the shelf.

6. Because we did not have our papers together for the Albania/Macedonia border, we were turned away and had to take a detour through Greece that got us there almost a full day later.

7. We overcompensated by giving too many papers in our packet for the  Macedonia/Serbia border and confused the border official.

8. We did not have enough cash in Euros or USD at the Serbian border to pay the insurance and had to drive to the nearest bank machine, 20 minutes away, while our passports were held at the border.

9. We left our camera on the dash, in Serbia, and almost got it stolen by some “window cleaners”.

10. We unfortunately created a moisture bridge by screwing metal screws into a metal framework .

11. We paid too much money for an awesome “Lawrence of Arabia” outfit and some pieces of jewelery, in the Sahara, because we didn’t know what it was worth and we trusted the salesman simply because he hosted us in his camel hair tent.

12. We sent one of our young people to the UK while assuming she had a bank card. She had none and was sent back to us in Africa after being handcuffed and spending 4 days in a detainment facility.

13. Elizabeth got locked in a self-clean toilet, in France, during the cleaning cycle because she pushed the door button too many times.

14. Elizabeth got locked in a self-clean toilet, in Spain, during the cleaning cycle because she pushed the door button too many times.

15. We connected our Solar panels the wrong way many, many times and had to pull out the ceiling and insulation in the front ceiling before we got it right.

16. Andrew almost drowned when he went out to save Hannah, who was being pulled out of sight on her boogie board. When he went out without a board and spent 45 minutes fighting the waves before being brought in by the same rip tide that pulled Hannah out.

17. We overloaded our bike carrier until it sagged and had to be propped up.

18. We bought a chemical toilet. Andrew thinks this is a good idea. I think it was a mistake because we are rarely allowed to use it as it is too difficult to find a place to empty it when we are wild camping.

19. We bought a cheap and cheerful umbrella chair for each member of the family before we realized they each had about a 2 week lifespan.

20. We put 2 giggly girls in the navigation seat at a crucial juncture and ended up driving through the Rif mountains and getting chased by drug dealers.

With all the mistakes that we have made we are only really fools when we don’t learn from them.

My old pottery teacher, Andrew Appleby, gave me these wise words:

There is only one way to avoid making mistakes:

Don’t try anything new!

Now that is no life at all, is it?

This post is part of the FOTR Blog Carnival.

Celebrated TJs 9th Birthday in New Zealand. TJ woke up with the sun. She made her way through the mist to the semi-visible car and gathered the gifts from the dash. The whole family piled into mum and dad’s tent and opened the first of her gifts.

The tents were still soggy with mist when we then packed them into the car  for a day of birthday adventures.

First stop was with one of Andrew’s childhood friends. She had 11 kids. She has been busier than us. Instant party! We thought one cake just wasn’t big enough so we made 3. Seeing as the theme was an “apple birthday” we decorated the cakes with apples.

Of course, we had an assortment of New Zealand sweeties.

Feeling a need to climb a mountain on such a momentous day we climbed up one of the many volcanos in Auckland.

After the long hike we went to the Allis Family’s house for more cake. Actually we were supposed to have just one apple strudel (Margaret promised to show us how to make an easier pastry from scratch). However, all the bakers were feeling festive so we ended up with 3 cakes. Elizabeth made  a blueberry and sourcream cake. Abi made half of a lemon cake. Luke made the other half of Abi’s cake chocolate. Then Margaret made a large apple strudel that we affectionately called “the slug”.

At the end of the day, TJ took great joy in recounting all 6 (or was that 5 and 2 halves) birthday cakes. She loves to count and what can be more fun to count than birthday cakes.

We slowly make our way out of the car to find Andrew standing on the front porch with another tall and skinny man. This one with steel gray eyes. It is as if he emerged from the black and white photo of Andrew’s grandfather. Neither man was moving. Both were just staring with a slight smile mixed in with a look of shock. The family resemblance was undeniable. Cousins who don’t remember their last meeting.

Kit was eagerly downloading his recent trip to Zambia. “I don’t think they need handouts. It has warped the culture. They need professionals to come in and form partnerships. Change their thinking. We shouldn’t be so lazy. We need to do our homework before we give.” All the girls are sitting on the sofa, listening. All but TJ. She is laying on my lap asleep. No wonder, she was up at 4:30, milking cows with an Allan. Allan wanted to be a dairy farmer since he was her age.

Celia looked over at the girls on the sofa. “Your girls are getting an amazing education in your travels”. I hear that a lot.

After spending some time with the family. Keith said, “your kids are so smart”.

We have some workbooks that we go through to make sure they can go back into a “normal school” someday. Make sure there are no gaps. The hour a day it takes to go through the workbooks. We changed our math to “Life of Fred” because my kids hated math. Now they love it. Workbooks are great, but think the best learning happens outside of the workbooks.

One day I was feeling like our kids weren’t getting “educated” enough. Not enough time hitting the books.  I decided to write down what they were learning that particular day. That only lasted one day. Too much to write down. Our lives are full and rich.

I think the unseen and immeasurable education is the most valuable.

This post is part of the FOTR blog carnival.

Oh yes, our family has quite a history with the “Camino de Santiago”. Our first experience with it was in 2004 when we took our whole family and 12 friends. TJ was only 2 at the time and took her first steps on the Camino. Lizzy walked the Camino with our friend Cindy when she was only 12 years old. Sam, not to be outdone by his younger sister, walked the Camino last year. He went with his best friend, Donald. Abi feels that it is now her turn.

Look at her so keen, so cute. All she needs is a responsible adult to accompany her. She wants to go in June. She wanted me to put up this post to see if any friends, who would also fit the bill of reasonably responsible adult, would want to go. The walk is 550 Km from Pamplona to Santiago.

One of the first questions we get asked frequently is “What about friends for your kids”.

I know the image that is in their minds. A lonely child traveling the globe with only their shadow to play with. That would be very sad indeed.

However this is the reality. Friends are EVERYWHERE!

Here are some of my observations.

In some ways it helps traveling with a big family. It is more expensive ,not as much as you would think, but you get to bring friends with you.

Our kids have developed an ability to make friends naturally. If they want friends they need to make them. If there is a language barrier they need to find a creative way to get past it. We have frequently heard parents say, “your kids fit in so well – as though they have always been here”.

They make friends with all ages – even adults, sometimes. They don’t have that age breakdown in their heads. They make a broad range of friends and I think they are richer for it.

We know that keeping friends is an important skill.

A great way to keep a friend is to know how to keep your sister as a friend.

Many times we go back to see friends.

We invite them to join us, with or without their families.

We facebook. A small security note here. They are not allowed to get a new facebook friends that are adults without mum and dad knowing them. Obviously, building and keeping trust is important here.

Our older kids have ipod touches. The younger kids share “the girlpod” with mum. This is for the main reason of keeping up with friends.

Abi shares a “traveling sweater” with some friends she made in Alabama. Each girl gets the sweater for 2 weeks. She sews on it or draws on it, writes notes in the book that comes with it and then send it on to the next girl.

Just some thoughts. I think my kids are quite good at making friends and delightfully creative with keeping them. There are lonely times. Times of missing those we love. The birthday party that can’t happen because your 8 year old just listed 10 friends for the party that are all from different countries.

Yes our life is a bit different. It is rich and rarely boring. We have friends around the globe and love it.

Time to go and have some breakfast. New friends to be made. Hey, who is that trying to steal my breakfast! A weka! Naughty bird, sounds like a pig.

So, now safely in Oregon. Oh, the sights that we saw.

We were quite well looked after with our full-service pit stop crew.

We were well motivated with our dashboard mascot. Isn’t she photogenic.

We had interesting diversions along the road. We saw lots of cotton harvesting into huge cotton cakes. We felt motivated and went into one of the fields for a bit of an after harvest activity.

We found snow in Colorado!!!! Just a bit. Enough for some artwork

and a very small snowman with spiky hair. I think we shall call him…. spike!

We found a great, interesting C.S.Lewis fan. They are called “Lewisans”. She might help us with our roadschooling english. She has some great ideas.

We also found an American Diner heaven. Like a mirage, an oasis, on the eve of the blizzard. Real people, real food, hotel attached and a quiet, understated celebration of family. As if to state, “It is hard to travel with a family these days. Why wouldn’t we supply a few distractions and some discounts for family?”

ALSO: We got stuck in a blizzard.

We found a unicycle rider going down the other side of the highway closed post-blizzard.

And, the icing on the cake. The prize: Whipped cream on the pumpkin pie. FAMILY!!!

So here we are going home for Thanksgiving. What do we see? A Blizzard. Seriously! The blizzard is coming in, they have closed the roads!. We are checked into a hotel in beautiful Ogden, Utah. Turn on the weather channel and they are talking about our blizzard with lovely Ogden smack in the center. Heck they are showing little movies of the Blizzard in Ogden. We are just trying to get to my parents house in Salem, Oregon in time for the Thanksgiving meal. Not sure. I better get in touch with my sister to see what time they are eating the meal. Seeming more and more like it will be down to the minute.

We picked dad up in Atlanta, GA and got on the road for Texas via Montgomery, Al. Check out my handsome man in front of his sweet ride.

We were encouraged to come to Montgomery by our old friend, Alan Cross, to come for some “good ‘ol southern hospitality”.

Of course we started out with some great food.

We went to a southern food buffet with a healthy sized line of hungry patrons at “Fried Tomato Buffet”. Very rich, beautiful, southern food which put Andrew into a deep “digestive sleep” and prevented any further driving that day.

We had to find other diversions while Andrew slept.

TJ saw the Spanish Moss hanging from the tree. She heard about how people use it for mattresses and pillows. She responded appropriately and gathered herself a pillow.

We got a history geek/teacher tour of Montgomery, Alabama. We got the full scoop on Rosa Parks and the Freedom Riders and Martin Luther King Jr. Here we are hanging out in the church where the “Bus Boycott” was organized. Such interesting stuff. The kids were kinda tired tho. I think it is all kind of hard for them to understand racism. Even though we see it and the evidence of it they don’t understand how a normal person can hate someone, or think they aren’t as good as us, simply based on the colour of their skin. They don’t seem to understand the weight of racism. They get these confused looks on their faces as if to say, “are these people on stupid pills?” It is interesting how racism simply doesn’t fit with the innocence of childhood. Unfortunately, some kids have their innocence taken away way too young by first hand experience of such terrors.

This photo is taken right outside the church. Check out how close it is to where the seat of government was for the south.

Next we heard about the “Freedom Riders”. They were an integrated group of white and black bus riders and the violence that met them in Montgomery.

I asked about what happened to the Klan. Victory over the clan was tied in with Montgomery, Alabama too. What a place. Apparently, right around the corner from Martin Luther King Jr.s place,  a lawyer who was appalled with the Klans gang activities started suing them every time they would do something. He bankrupted them. I like that. The lawyer saw injustice. He looked at what he had in his hands. Who he was. What tools he had. He used what he had as a weapon to fight injustice.

Alan explained his passion about the whole situation. He said that the whites really thought they were being good people. All the violent acts towards blacks. They thought they were doing the right thing? In the current light you would think “How could that be?” This is what Alan is trying to figure out. How can people do such horrible things while believing they are doing something good? He believes there has been no sufficient resolution. Almost like someone saying “oops, I guess I won’t do that again” but not “I am really sorry, I was wrong, I never should have done that. It was bad.” You know, something like that.

You know, a lot of kids grow up with “Say you’re sorry!” I really don’t do that with my kids. Thought it sort of numbs the conscience and encourages them detach their words from their hearts. Instead we do something that takes a bit longer.

“Did you want to step on your sister’s foot?”

“No.”

“Well, you did and she thinks you did it on purpose unless you say something to cause her to believe differently.”

Am I being too simplistic to think that we need to say sorry in our words and in our hearts?

I am so sorry about what the whites have done to the blacks in the name of God. I am sorry for the things that were not done. I am sorry for the pain and the broken relationships that resulted. I am sorry for the wrong that is still being done as a reaction and justification for the original pain.

Wow, there is so much to say sorry for. My head is spinning with the injustices. I don’t know where to go next. Is that why people don’t like to say sorry. It opens up your heart to a whole world of wrong. A world that lives inside our hearts and influences the world around us. I want my heart to be honest so I know when I am allowing junk in that will cause me to make poor decisions and wrong those in my world.

It seriously needs to be more personal too. I am sorry for what I HAVE DONE. I am sorry when the poison in my heart takes over and causes me to see what I want to see rather than what is real. I am sorry when I judge based on first impressions. DANG! I am sorry when I judge, PERIOD! Judging is so dangerous! I am sorry when my selfishness and laziness and fear get in the way of my own acts of justice and mercy. I am sorry! I don’t want to do that anymore! I want to love without agenda or prejudice or self-preservation. I am sorry for the part of my heart that I allow to follow the same path of those who threw Rosa off the bus, that circled that church and threw stones at the people inside. That was seriously wrong and should NEVER happen again. But it has and does over and over again. Are we on stupid pills or something?

We left Montgomery 23 hours after we arrived. Our stomachs, gas tank, heads and hearts full. Thank you friends in Montgomery.

Well, we’re doing it. We are going to walk the 40 miles from Thursday to Sunday.

Me, Abi, Hannah and TJ and oh so many more. Do you see the mischief we get up to when Andrew is away.

We have come to Alabama to meet up with our friends, Al and Tina Nord, and see this amazing land they have been telling us about.

Turns out our timing is perfect once again. We are here just in time for their pilgrimage. We figure – we love pilgrimages! We love Nomads! Hey, we are Nomads! And a pilgrimage of walking with amazing, nomadic, people to raise money for a homeland for the wanderers. WE’RE IN! We are walking for “Nomads Land”. Oh Yeah! It is a place of rest for the Global Nomads, the wanderers, our friends. Check out the website.

Our friends have been dreaming about a place like this for years. It is 40 acres of paradise land with a barn and a mobile home. There are lots of buses here already but lots of room for more and places for small dwellings to be built. There are limited planning laws for building here and the neighbours love them. I say they are off to a great start.

As we have been traveling around we have noticed a need for such places around the world. Nomads are misunderstood and feared by so many.

I am sure there are some nomads that are terrible people. Who are thieves and liars and lazy to earn such a terrible reputation but we have yet to meet nomads like that.

We have met beautiful, generous, hard working individualists. People who are misunderstood because they don’t easily fit into boxes. When people are different and don’t fit easily into boxes it seems easier for the general public to fear and justify their fear by demonising.

It has been very exciting to see how places are popping up around the globe like this. Little bits of paradise for community among the misunderstood and marginalized.

No longer are people waiting for institutions and governments to step in and “do something”.

No, normal people putting everything on the line, life savings, homes, pride to create a safe haven.

Be it a haven for the wanderers, the abused, the homeless or the stolen of this world.

A few tents in the jungle so villagers can run from men with guns.

A large house or a dilapidated castle for abused artists to be fed and nursed back to life so they can find their voices again.

A few acres of farmland in the deep south of America for wanderers to rest, receive and give. A place to be part of a community that flows in and out, like the nucleus of an atom with the electrons swirling about, coming in and out in a life-giving dance.

I see so much for potential of good in Nomadic people. To do so much with so little. To turn back to comfort in order to live a life of conviction. To give so eagerly with no “agenda” for return.

So, you want to sponsor us to walk? We like walking. We like Pilgrimages. We will walk anyways because every step we take means something. If you sponsor us you can add a tinkle of a bell or a beat of a drum or a yell from a megaphone to every step we take.  Every step counts. Every cent helps.

Now time to go down and get ready for all the pilgrims showing up to walk later today.