Some Thoughts about fear
I have been thinking a lot lately but unable to formulate my thoughts into any flowing paragraph or post but my thoughts are hounding me, asking for a place to sit.
Here is such a place.
A place for my random thoughts.
Some require something of me but I am not sure what.
Others simply require a place to be.
I used to like old movies.
Doris Day etc.
They now disturb me.
Was I being manipulated into thinking being drunk was cute.
All was well with a man if he wanted to marry me – even if he was a jerk (pillow talk etc).
The accumulation of perfect clothes was great and to be taken for granted.
Do I want my girls filling their heads with such nonsense.
What are the new movies trying to show me?
Are the movies telling us where we have been, where we are or telling us where to go?
I just finished reading a disturbing book called “the other hand”.
It is a work of fiction based on fact about the detainment centres in U.K. and the effect of the oil industry on Nigeria.
Sounds a lot like what is going on in Burma with the oil industry.
Is the oil industry bad?
What about gold and rare gems?
Should I stop cooking with gas.
Should we be traveling the world gas free with horse and cart and wood for cooking.
That would make us even weirder.
Or if it wasn’t about the oil or gold or gems would it be about something else?
What can I do?
Lots of people will just zone out when they get too much info about pain and injustice in the world.
Does that make them shallow?
Or is that a coping mechanism?
Could you go crazy thinking about all the injustice in the world.
What about the Romany being kicked out of France.
Is it like the EU chief says, “This is a situation that I had thought Europe would not have to witness again after the Second World War“.
Perhaps the most disturbing part of the “EU article” is in the comments for it, that are now closed.
I have been hanging out with people I previously thought were full of drug addiction and dependent on the government.
My preconceived ideas were wrong.
Why are people scared of them?
Lots of people don’t want to think about sad things like this.
What is my role with difficult truth.
How should it affect the way I live my life?
I met someone who was afraid of raw chicken.
There are fast food restaurants everywhere in America but where are the grocery stores.
Are lots of people afraid of raw food and that is why they eat out at restaurants.
Is that why I can’t find a grocery store?
Is that part of the obesity problem – a fear of raw chicken driving people to fast food restaurants?
Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
How much has advertising and movies had a role to play in all this.
There are lots of people afraid of germs today.
Are we becoming a weak people.
So many of the women in movies are weird control freaks afraid of everything.
The moving, talking advertisements really disturb me.
So much advertising.
So much fear.
Is it a planned attempt to keep us tame?
So many people have excuses for not living life.
So much fear.
I met a man who’s 2 year old daughter has 75 pairs of shoes.
Is that why I can find lots of clothes stores and car lots and no grocery stores.
Is our fear misplaced?
Are we being taught to fear the needy?
As far as how to apply these in my own life.
These questions will need to linger as questions for now as I don’t know how to answer them in a way that makes sense.
I refuse to diminish them by answering them too quickly.
Am I asking the right questions?
Yes! These are the right questions. I used to love old movies too, but I am very much scared of the types of women they portray. Some people would call that jaded, no? I prefer to think of it as living inclusively instead of exclusively. Every little bit counts.
Thanks for those thoughts. I loved the book The other hand too. It reminded me of the refugees we work with in Burma. A lot. And I recognize some of your thoughts. It’s weird coming to a western country. After meeting your family in Prague last month I decided to start my own blog. I have wanted to for a long time, but not actually taken the time to do it. But now it is here and I have gotten lots of responses. It is a lot of fun. It’s great reading about your adventures as well.
I love your questions… I ask many of them myself! and I laughed out loud when I read “that would make me weirder” – you are so not weird, or maybe I’m just as weird? =) We have lots of grocery stores around here – come back! We miss you!!
I really appreciate that someone whose life I admire is asking many of the same questions that I am… it’s quite reassuring.
Yes, yes, yes Debbie, you are asking the right questions. I’m encouraged that you’re finding new questions to ask after all your travels and everything you have experienced in the past year. I’m relieved that you don’t claim to have all the answers. I’m nowhere near as brave as you and your family, but I’m asking the same questions and they rattle me to my core. It’s like Shane Claiborne says, I read Jesus words in the Bible and he ruined my life! He forces us to ask questions and I don’t think we’ll like the answers.